*This content was originally shared on January 4, 2018 with business owners on The Seasoned Marketer email distribution list. To receive my most recent content, join the email list here: Add me to the List
"Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend." - Arthur Abbott, The Holiday
This week was a pretty big deal for me.
Not only did we ring in 2018 but I also turned 35! For those of you not yet in your 30's...you are in for a treat! Something magical happens in our 30's - we accept that while we cannot control everything that happens to us, that we (and only we) are responsible for where we are in life.
That realization in itself is so powerful and yet so scary.
It forces us to ask, "Why have I been acting like the 'best friend' in my own life, instead of the leading lady?!?"
Why do we struggle to make decisions that we know are right for us?
So, why is it?
Why do we water down our goals and dreams?
Why do we choose to play small when our guts tell us we were meant for something bigger?
Fear of Shame.
Our fear of shame is what keeps us from acting like leading ladies. Most people think that it is fear of failure that keeps us from trying new things or setting big goals, but really it is not the failure that bothers us, it is the shame that we associate with failure. And that shame is almost always from people in our circle (family, friends or colleagues).
But see, I'm 35 now (and therefore infinitely wiser and smarter, right? Sure, that's what I keep telling myself) and I've realized that the only way to get over that fear of shame is... to fail and fail often. [I know, I know - so obvious!]
Get comfortable with that feeling and learn to move past that initial sting of 'Dang, I just failed and somebody might actually find out!'
Who cares?! See if you are failing, it means you are trying. And let me remind you that success is not built on success...it is built on failure. The only way to figure out what works in your business is to be willing to try new things - and *SPOILER ALERT*...it is not always going to be a success your first go round!
G-L-A-M it up.
So, let's recap:
- Fear of shame keeps us from acting like the leading ladies in our own lives
- Only way to overcome fear of shame is to fail (and fail often!)
- Failure is the stepping stone to success
Adjust your Plan
Make it happen
The key to learning from our failures is focusing on step two (Look Around) and step three (Adjust your Plan).
I've included a link to my Quarterly Strategic Planning Worksheet for you (click here). I encourage you to take an hour out of this month to sit down and plan your sales & marketing goals for the first quarter (Jan - Mar). It will give you a chance to not only set goals for each month, but re-evaluate your game plan and execution every month - allowing you the flexibility to adjust your game plan if you need to!